Holidays Over..

As the day dusks, i sit on my window seat, sipping coffee and looking across the window. The heart is very heavy, i feel as gloomy as black. I feel a tweak as the flight takes off, it becomes all the more clear that i am going farther away from home, my parents and from the holidays i was on. The week full of fun,frolic and independence is coming to an end. I have to get back to office tomorrow.
This tells me how everything has to come to an end, wheather its good or bad. Nothing stays forever. Nothing is definate. The only thing thats definate is the 'change'.
I sometime wonder why do i become cynical in bad times and soo optimistic in good. I know that time changes. We have to go thru pain and joy for certain span of time. it's cyclic. But i still don't have control over my feelings. Is it soo difficult to decipher our own thought process? Is it infact possible to do so?
If one decides not to give anybody/anything soo much importance that it could hurt him. But then this restricts one's joy as well. If we can't experince extreme disappoimtment then how can we expect to feel extreme joy. Firstly, its not possible for one to let go his very own people. And even if one somehow manages to do so then the feeling of lonlinesss and despair overshadowes him. He finds himself so disconnected, unable to share the joy or saddness to the required extent. And as time passes by, one becomes numb. We must live the life as it comes, experince the rollercoaster ride it has in store for us.